I Just Watched (Films)

[Lenny Solidus]

Ulysses 31 was my absolute jam.

Well, that and Transformers, Terrahawks, Battle of the Planets, Star Fleet, Bananaman, Chorlton & The Wheelies and of course Thundercats,

[Animalmother]

Trading Places
Now here's something I haven't seen in a very long time. Was always a Christmas favourite so I wondered how it held up. Still great I'm glad to say, all the performances are top notch. Some stuff in it that would be frowned upon today but it's of it's time. Jamie Lee Curtis's knockers are fantastic.

[Rusty]

I've watched that film so many times (and yes, JLC's body helped through some rough teenage years ) and I still don't fully understand the end.

I think I have a very rough handle on it but surprising they didn't go with an easier ending. Buying and selling futures. No idea.

[Raid]

Tron: Ares

I didn't expect much from this, if I'm honest. It's barely even a sequel to one of my favourite films, 2010's Tron: Legacy, as it doesn't build on anything that film did - if anything it repeats some of the concepts but with none of the charm. I can't even call Jared Leto the worst thing about it, as he's actually more engaging than most of the rest of the cast, which is really saying something. I just don't understand what Disney are doing with their casting and direction; they have all the money in the world, but they can't seem to get performances out of anyone. Some of their TV stuff has been alright, but I've maybe seen one film from them in the last five years where the acting was anything approaching a highlight.

I had a small glimmer of hope when they announced that Nine Inch Nails were doing the soundtrack. I was never expecting them to be better than Daft Punk, but I expected a hell of a lot more than this. It's just so bloody dreary. It's not like any of it feels wrong exactly, it does fit the theming of the film, but Legacy's soundtrack really elevated that film as a whole in a way that NIN just didn't. There's absolutely no sense of wonder to any of it, no crescendo, no emotion of any kind. I think Trent Reznor did more for the film as F-35 Pilot #1.

They don't even land the aesthetic, because, as I predicted the second I saw that first trailer; they spend far too much of this film's runtime in the real world, and absolutely none of it makes sense. Tron works because it all happens in a fantasy environment; the entire plot of this film revolves around efforts to reverse Tron's entire premise, and bring virtual constructs into the real world, and the second you do that it all falls apart. What are the Light Cycle trails made of? Why do they persist in the real world? How does the Recognizer fly? What are the digital people made of when they're 3D printed?

And then there's the general tone-deafness of the plot. It's arguably a better story than Legacy, that was never going to be difficult, but it revolves around ultra-rich tech CEOs going wild with new technology, and killing innocent people in the process. Don't try to make me feel sympathy for a character that's channelling Steve Jobs just because she's not Elon Musk. Sam Flynn at least felt vaguely sympathetic, and he had a significant connection to his father and the original series protagonist who remains the only likeable person in this.

Disney killed the franchise after this didn't perform, and maybe it's time it was put to bed. I waited so long for a sequel to Legacy, but it never really materialised, and clearly the will wasn't in the company to make one. Legacy's concept of the ISOs - the naturally evolved programs that represented a new form of life - had a sense of wonder to it. There's absolutely none of that here. I think the closest comparison I can make is to that of whichever was the second of the Jurassic World films (the only one I've seen, I don't plan on seeing the others) - they've replaced the awe of the subject matter with an utterly tedious step into the military industrial complex. I don't want to see all of the fun concepts the series created destined to become "ultimate weapons". There's absolutely no adventure here, no imagination. The positivity of the technology becomes a footnote in the film's epilogue.

Honestly I think I've made myself more annoyed that this is the direction they took with this film by typing all of this out. As the credits rolled I thought it was passable. Having realised it lacked absolutely everything I want from science fiction, I realise it was actually abysmal. I'm going to go and listen to the Legacy soundtrack for the umpteenth time and know I'll at least get the goosebumps it always provokes.

[Rusty]

For some reason I seem to recall not liking legacy. maybe it's due a rewatch to try to refresh my memory. Tron is on my top films of all time. It was so ground-breaking when it came out.
Did they do a 3D version of legacy? They must have surely?

[Raid]

I will happily admit that Legacy isn't a traditionally good film, the story's too simple and the characters a bit one-dimensional, but it's an aesthetic and aural masterpiece. It's a guilty pleasure film, but it's absolutely in my top 10.

[Animalmother]

For some reason I seem to recall not liking legacy. maybe it's due a rewatch to try to refresh my memory. Tron is on my top films of all time. It was so ground-breaking when it came out.
Did they do a 3D version of legacy? They must have surely?

I'm pretty sure 3D was the default version when it came out. It would have been at that time when every film just had to be in 3D. It's been a while since I've watched it but do remember the soundtrack is fantastic and the overall visual theme has yet to be bettered.

About the ending of Trading Places. I have no idea how that system of trading could possibly have worked, it's utter chaos.

[Lenny Solidus]

Avatar: Fire & Ash

Just to jump into it right away, Jim's third outing clocks in at 3 hours and 17 minutes long and I can quite honestly say it felt more like 4 hours 17 minutes long, this was felt so much the guy sat directly behind us with his unimpressed looking partner legitimately fell asleep at I don't know what point and snored his way right up to the film's finale. I wish I was kidding.

To add to that, firmly and foremost if there is one distinct reason to go and see this movie as an aside from the obvious always impressive visual number it does on your eyes and brain - it is Oona Chaplin who portrays Varang. I'm fairly certain everyone is going to see it for her and I promise they will not be disappointed, with her I mean. That sadly doesn't make the movie however. As much as I enjoy a new Avatar movie there has never truly been in my humble opinion a character outside of perhaps Quaritch in human form in the very first that really captures your attention whenever on screen, Varang does exactly that, she just oozes bad intentions with a little witchery like craziness and my god is she visually captivating. She can be inserted into any scene, and you're just compelled to train your eyes on her at all times because simply her gaze and general demeanour just eat up the scene to an insane degree. She can say literally nothing, but her eyes say so much. This new tribe she represents is pretty much what was required in number 2, something to really drag me into the world once again, to ensure that it wasn't just the amazing visuals that had my attention overall.

They are a superb addition for sure and quite honestly had they not been included I'd have considered this third outing far too much of a copy and paste for the most part to warrant any form of recommendation...that said there is just enough inserted in minor respects that do make the movie a lot more enjoyable of course it has its ebbs and flows but was honestly just too damn long and so much of it feels like bloat this time around.

This was the first time in an Avatar movie I felt I spotted some quite glaring inconsistencies in the visual department, yes it's still amazing and just utterly will confound you that they poured that much effort visually into a scene that comes over as quite bland, no matter the context the visuals are on a level (mostly) that are just fucking nuts to take in. There's so much on screen, so much distraction, so much vying for your immediate attention you forget character's are acting in the foreground because you're too busy tracking a flock of beautifully rendered birds miles off on the horizon. v v v vv

Story wise this was very underwhelming for me, the new tribe and some of the stuff delving further into Eywa was all very well done,

Spoiler

the clear power imbalance at times however between the two warring factions human and non could have quite easily altered everything doing one particular scene which I won't get into yet the side on top simply chooses not to.

Scenes with legacy characters is like being assaulted by major déjà vu, all of it you've seen and heard before - then one of them will snarl. My biggest complaint has to be the writing, there are lines and line deliveries in this film at such an amateur level I honestly couldn't believe it had made the final cut given how much of a perfectionist old Jim boy is known for being. We are talking school drama class level of acting here...most of it coming from my least favourite character of all, Spider. I'm sorry to actor Jack Champion, but you are way way out of your league being such an integral role in this movie, it dumbfounds me that you play such a central role and not once was I invested in your plight. The irony in this one being that Sam Worthington who I often consider as charismatic as three day old dish water actually manages to shine considerably in his acting takes here, perhaps because Spider is so bloody terrible in part, but also I feel Sam truly gives some worthy acting moments beyond just being forever pissed off or angry at everything and everyone else all the time. He honestly surprised me.

Spoiler

The biggest crime this movie commits is that you as you lost all track of time how long you've been sat with your arse cheeks completely dead being that you feel the movie reaches a finale around four maybe even five different bleedin' times slows then recommits to building yet another finale and just keeps fucking doing that shit so much it genuinely soured the final thirty to forty minutes of the movie for me, I'd had enough of it by this point. The normally enticing scenes were no longer dazzling me, and the longer it went on the more the acting and writing fell even more into a deep dark pit of this can't be in a fucking Jim Cameron movie, it just can't be the case. Also, once Varang becomes very much a secondary figure entering the actual oh it's finally here finale and switches over to Quaritch the wind just all but leaves the sails and I was honestly wishing for it to all be done and dusted which I've never experienced during an Avatar movie before. Please, I beg of you, just release me from these shackles.

Stephen Lang is ok, which saddens me to say. Ever since they blue switched him he's just not been of the same 'love to hate him' capacity that he was as a human figure. Varang completely steals any thunder he attempts to bring into the mix so much so that he's quite honestly no longer even necessary - and it really is all on Jim for placing a character such as Varang because she is so darn captivating in every single ounce of her on screen performance that this eventually occurs. Equals they are not no matter how hard you try to push it.

Overall, I'm super conflicted concerning just how much I enjoyed the Fire & Ash experience. The run time is simply too long to keep you assertive of evvvvvvvvvvveeeeerything going on to the very final minutes, break neck visually compelling as expected (but too often I noticed lapses in quality) dark and broody (Varang) while yet being the most sluggish drawn out Avatar movie affair by a long shot at the very same time with a complete over-abundance of both writing and acting that I near felt second hand embarrassment over in a movie that's part of the biggest movie ip ever made recently eclipsing even Star Wars. Just why Jim? Why do I now need to instantly rewatch Aliens to remind myself just how wonderful you actually are?? You seriously fell asleep at the wheel too many times and I cannot and will not overlook that singular fact, you are still the magic man but it will take a little time to come to terms with it all...





5.9 Eh Wah????? Out of 10

[Animalmother]

Just to jump into it right away, Jim's third outing clocks in at 3 hours and 17 minutes long

That's instantly a big fat nope from me.

[Alex79]

I watched Planes, Trains and Automobiles the other day. It's my favourite comedy of all time, I think. Not necessarily the *funniest*, but overall, it's just such a perfect film. Martin and Candy at their absolute best. And I know it's set at Thanksgiving, but it's still a Christmas movie to me.