I Just Watched (Films)

[Animalmother]

I Am Legend
Pretty mediocre film with some laughably bad cgi for 2007. The vampire/zombie monsters look like something from a PS2 cutscene. I remember people in the cinema laughing when they first appeared on screen. Apparently actors in makeup were originally used but they couldn't move fast enough so cgi was used.
Where the film really shines is the amazingly deserted post apocalyptic New York, it's so well done. How they managed this in daytime NY is baffling. I think the games main legacy is it was obviously used as a reference for games like The Division and The Last of Us. There's also the outstanding performance by the dog Sam, no doubt the influence for Dog Meat in Fallout 4.

[Lenny Solidus]

John Wick 4

My god, I felt physically and mentally weakened watching this and not in a bad way - it just had me that gripped I arse jumped in my chair several times and had to hold off the want to go to the toilet for the must see finale. I also liked how there were distinctive very real moments when you could visibly see how fucking exhausted Wick was, searching for that last ounce of will power and strength that would once more decide an outcome right before taking on the next. It's all right there on screen presented to you ever so masterfully, and no doubt plenty of moviemakers and producers will watch this movie with such an enviable jealousy/rage rarely ever seen before. It's just that fucking good.

Saying that yes Keanu is unbelievable considering he almost quit doing these two movies ago, but it has to be said that Donnie Yen as Caine for me was the true star of the show - watching every single action made by Caine with Donnie just doing his thing was just incredible and his acting so on point you just can't get enough of him being around. I'm almost almost of the mind that we may never see anything quite like him ever again.

But...and to me personally, this was a very big but. For all of how John Wick 4 nears levels few other movies could ever dream of being this was the first John Wick movie that ended up leaving me a little more conflicted than usual, I did slowly feel a part of me yearning in a lot of sections for a return to a far more restrained simplistic emotional/vengeful driven street scum car dog criminal underbelly baba yaga original Wick entry approach once again for some reason. Perhaps because it's such a weighty watch in general that is so ever demanding of both your eyes and ears at a pace and heightened ridiculously well executed production value consistently firing on all cylinders that you are just not used to it. I may not have put over exactly what I'm trying to get at there all that well, but I'm sure anyone who has seen it will understand somewhat. Naturally all just testament to how great the original actually was. Something along the lines of how the most natural set evolution err might not always be the most desired or some shit. Fucked if I know what I'm saying.

9.5 out of 10

I don't have it within me to claim it's a perfect movie, but it's ridiculously close goddammit.

- Addition

Scott Adkins deserves a mention too. He was bloody great.

[Raid]

I actually don't agree on feeling the need to return to a smaller scale. I wouldn't have wanted to jump straight into the fourth film's level of open-warfare from the off, but I've really enjoyed the progression from the entirely hidden culture of assassins to major incident around the Arc de Triomphe. I don't think the first film is in any way lessened by the escalation, and that awesome scene where they're casually taking silenced pistol shots from the wrist while walking through a crowded subway station without alerting any member of the public will stay with me. But they had to do more with the later films, because a series like this runs the risk of the "gimmick" (if you can really call the astounding choreography a gimmick) becoming stale.

[Wrathbone]

Oppenheimer

Not bad, but Nolan's chaotic, choppy style of skipping between scenes that are often less than 10 seconds long and take place years apart is, I'm convinced, total balls. It does my head in. I'd love to see a sequential cut, or at least one that jumps across time when there's a legitimate reason to do so (such as his conversation with Einstein).

The acting and subject matter are excellent, at least.

6/10

[Hatredsheart]

Oppenheimer

Not bad, but Nolan's chaotic, choppy style of skipping between scenes that are often less than 10 seconds long and take place years apart is, I'm convinced, total balls. It does my head in. I'd love to see a sequential cut, or at least one that jumps across time when there's a legitimate reason to do so (such as his conversation with Einstein).

The acting and subject matter are excellent, at least.

6/10

I thought I'd enjoy it a lot more than I did, fast-forward button was used frequently. Agree with 6/10.

[Alan]

I think 6/10 is very generous but sober at least. Its not the worst movie I've seen this year but its possibly the one I disliked the most.

[Wrathbone]

I think critics absolutely overrated it (it's Nolan, so I shouldn't be surprised).

[Maturin]

I think it's a brilliant film, and the general public reviews are all in the top echelon, unlike Tenet. But then I have no issue whatsoever with non-linear storytelling, so there's nothing holding it back for me. It's so well directed by Nolan, the way he composes scenes is beautiful to look at.

It's easily a 9/10 for me and a massive return to form after Tenet, which is largely gobbledygook (although I do actually like it and thought it was better on a 2nd viewing.)

The only reason I don't give Oppenheimer a 10/10 is that his stubbornness to avoid CGI actually reduced the effectiveness of the atomic explosion scene, so it sort of backfired I think. Plus I'm not entirely convinced it needed 3 hours to tell its story.

[Wrathbone]

But then I have no issue whatsoever with non-linear storytelling, so there's nothing holding it back for me.

It's not so much the non-linear storytelling that bothers me, it's that it's non-linear storytelling with scenes that are frequently only a few seconds long. It skips all over the timeline so quickly that by the time I've established when and where we are and what's going on, the scene's done. I also don't think it really adds anything. I get that he's trying to focus on a particular thread and how it's relevant across various times and conversations, but for me it just doesn't work.

Pulp Fiction is one of my favourite films of all time and famously non-linear. Tarantino paces it perfectly, though, giving each scene time to do its thing, telling a short story in its own right with every time jump that forms part of a larger story across the whole film. If Nolan directed it, you'd have the iconic dancing scene interspersed with shots of Bruce Willis slicing people up with a Katana, mixed in with cuts of Christopher Walken talking about watches being shoved up arses.

[Alan]

I still giggle when I think of that fucking sex scene so I guess thats a positive

[Animalmother]

Indiana Jones & the Dial of Destiny
Nowhere near as bad as I was expecting, not even awful if I'm honest. I think it fares better on the small screen as the de-aging effects looked pretty good in places (terrible in other places in fairness). It just shouldn't have been made, completely unnecessary. It's no worse or better than Crystal Skull if that means anything. I've seen better nuanced plots on 30 minute episodes of Rick & Morty than this achieves in 2.5 hours.

Spoiler

They dealt with the absence of Indy's son in a way I wasn't expecting. Killed in Vietnam apparently and barely mentioned again

[Wrathbone]

Indiana Jones & the Dial of Destiny
Nowhere near as bad as I was expecting, not even awful if I'm honest.

Agreed. I think it's better in most ways than Crystal Skull, although it was mainly Shia Lebeouf I couldn't stand in that one. Dial is... okay. It's a decent action adventure and a dubious Indiana Jones story. It misses the heart of what made his original adventures tick in the same way that Crystal Skull did, though, by conflating mythological/religious artifacts with 'weird shit'. It's not meant to be the X-Files or science fiction - the core of these stories was meant to be fantastical in nature.

I did like the opening scene with the de-aging tech, which is pretty much perfect now. I wish they'd done the whole film that way and told a classic Indy story from a time when he wasn't geriatric.

5/10

EDIT - Ryan George hits the nail once more (spoilers thoughout):

[Lenny Solidus]

Swim

Shite. When hardly any of the words that you hear being said match up with the visuals on screen and is served up being this poor due to terrible voice over mismatch, you are not about to have a good time - and this example was pardon my French fucking appalling. I managed to get about halfway before it became too much for my brain to take. I love Shark movies, even plenty of the lower ladder ones, but my god this was awful. Do yourself a huge favour and avoid it like the ocean - it's honestly that much of a jarring experience, I'm surprised I lasted that long tbf.

0 Fuck you Fish out of 10. I want my 45 minutes back.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

My appreciation for this movie continues to grow, all round perfect casting coupled with an absolutely amazing recreation of the 69 LA era, the ending though is the true chef's kiss. DiCaprio once again proves that he truly is one of the greatest living actors of his generation, the type who rarely if at all makes a bad movie you come away from spouting if only DiCaprio was better - and the dude is still only 49 years of age.

Spoiler

Some of the best yet most uncomfortable near never ending screaming I have ever heard committed to film

9 Pussycats out of 10.

We Have Always Lived in the Castle

I've always said it, Alexandra Daddario is much more than just a set of piercing blue eyes and an amazing rack as she fully proves that fact in this film. What a beautifully crafted dark tale this was, not being familiar with the book it is based upon I expected very little but the acting, the sets direction and the ever-growing tensions really pulled me in. It's difficult to even define this film to any particular genre but regardless it was an enthralling watch and Alexandra was nothing short of mesmerizing throughout.

Spoiler

It's highly representative of the damage others even our own family members can bestow upon us and how we continue to not only accept that damage but practically revolves around it being an occurrence that we just accept or don't even question. Bleeding one day into the next and the next as if it were all completely normal as we live in our own self created everything is fine style bubble for fear that we may somehow escalate any of it even further.

A very respectable and surprising 8 out of 10.

The Wall

As simplistic as movies come, one that takes place almost entirely in one setting around a bricked up wall that the camera hardly ever shy's away from, Aaron Taylor-Johnson most definitely deserves some recognition for this one. It might not be the most grand or spectacular movie but when you slowly become fixated on a single man stuck against a crumbling pile of stones who if he makes as much as a single wrong movement to within an inch or even suffers a sudden lack of judgement he could be instantly dead - you know it's a movie that's doing its job. Great ending too.

7.5 don't move, don't give them the kill shot out of 10.

[Animalmother]

Couple of cheesy classics
Class of 1999
Can't believe I've never seen this trash before. In 1999 parts of US cities have become war zones with roving gangs of armed teenagers. Somehow the schools are still opened and the gangs are expected to attend (and do!). Teachers have been replaced by combat cyborgs and shit quickly goes wrong. The gangs all dress like they just stepped out of a Guns N Roses video, teased hair and leggings are big in 1999. It's silly fun and uses a mixture of prosthetics and stop motion for the messed up cyborgs.

The Hidden
An alien parasite takes over people's bodies and behaves like a psychotic asshole. It has a taste for Ferrari's and metal music. Two cops try to track it down as it reeks gleeful havoc across LA. Car chases, shootouts and gross alien slug make it a hoot. A snapshot of 1990 fashion and haircuts in all they're glorious naffness. Genuinely good film and worth a watch.

[Alan]

Wonka
It was fine. I feel there was a core that could have been so much better without the forced whimsy. Its quite annoying.

There was a trailer for the now Ghibli movie, The Boy and the Heron which was followed by a trailer for Illuminations new movie about ducks. Ive never felt such a polar shift. The Illumination was looked visually like shit, imaginatively void and just kind of embarrassing after the bloody lovely trailer for The Boy and the Heron. I guess I found that point-counterpoint much more interesting than Wonka since I've now written about 6 times about about it.


Black Friday
Bruce Campbell thing about alien zombies attacking a Toys-R-Us type store on black friday. Its shite.


Smart Money
Edward G Robinson is a gambling genius who goes to the big city to have a go at a high stakes poker game. I really love Eddie G and this is a great wee film too. Not his best, but very enjoyable. Its also one of the last movies Boris Karloff would appear in as a nobody bit part before Frankenstein.


Mafia Mamma
Toni Collette wanted a free italian holiday so she made this shit film to get her there. There are a few laughs but overall its pants. Monica Bellucci still damn beautiful at 60 though.


The Blue Dahlia
A Raymond Chandler joint starring Veronica Lake. Its a fun noir murder mystery but the payoff sucks. I thought Doris Dowling was the star of it, she has a great presence and it doesn't hurt that she's incredibly beautiful. Looking her up it seems she moved to Italy when couldn't get much work following WW2 which is a shame. Looking her up I also found this "in The Blue Dahlia, which starred Alan Ladd and Veronica Lake. Dowling portrayed Ladd's wife but was six inches taller so Ladd stood on ramps or boxes or, in many of their scenes together she was either sitting or lying down."