I Just Watched (Films)

[Wrathbone]

The Marvels

There are many points at which the MCU arguably jumped the shark, but just in case there was any doubt, The Marvels does a backflip over a line of sharks off the back of another shark.

I’ve possibly watched it in the wrong mindset, as I’ve had a couple of intensely stressful weeks at work and my patience and capacity for suppressing cynicism have temporarily vanished. It also quickly became clear that I was supposed to have watched Ms Marvel and Secret Invasion, which I have not, the result being that I had no sodding clue what was going on or why for the entire film.

It’s not just that, though. The whole film feels cheap and disposable, with quirky characters and situations that are just as misplaced as they were in Love and Thunder. One planet has a painfully convoluted situation so that they can have a musical scene, for no fucking reason. Brie Larson is doing her best to convince everyone she’s not as miserable as everyone thought she was in Captain Marvel, Maria Rambeau has powers now for reasons I forget and Kamala “look, I’m Gen Z!” Khan started to grate fairly quickly. The baddie is apparently a poundshop Ronan from Guardians with motives I didn’t really follow and a weapon that shouldn’t exist anymore but… does, I guess. Her character arc is “I’m angry, grrr”. There’s a whole thing going on with Nick Fury and some cats, which was the closest I’ve ever come to flat out abandoning an MCU film:

Spoiler

A whole bunch of baby Gooses (Geese?) slaughtering a space station because why not, all while Memories from Cats plays in the background. Add a few more sharks to the jump line.

I liked the first Captain Marvel film. It had actual character development, a relatively self-contained plot and some tempered, appropriate humour. This has none of that. I can’t believe this is the same studio that produced the Avengers films.

3/10

[Rusty]

I had seen some bad reports of The Marvals. I do want to give it a go but I really have no gumption to start any marval or dc films now. They really are just overblown cgi cutscenes from a game.

The Beekeeper

Next jason statham film. It's exactly as you'd expect. The whole plot appears to have been written by an intern but it's been filmed professionally.
Mr Statham does his usual and I enjoyed it as long as I didn't think too hard about anything.

Great to watch as part of my regular movie nights we do with friends. Enough crap to whine and poke fun at but also some fun action/fight scenes.

[Can't think of one]

Is it a Bee movie? I've a lot of buzz surrounding it, Does Statham Beehave himself?

Sorry I was bored ¬_¬

[Animalmother]

The Beekeeper
As Rusty said it's an entertaining switch your brain off action flick. The story is ridiculous as is the action but it knows it and just goes with it. If this had been made in the 90's, Steven Seagal would have starred, 80's would have had Chuck Norris. Entertaining kills from an emotionless Statham and a truely hilarious representation of dodgey call centres (perhaps the most unrealistic thing in the film ).

[Raid]

The Marvels

Somewhat disagree. I can't really dispute many of your points, but I really enjoyed it. I suspect this says more about my ability to switch my brain off than the quality of the film itself. I think I've just given up on Marvel films being even remotely serious or, well, good, but this just ticked a lot of boxes for me. It's extremely colourful, the gimmick is fun, and I think a lot of it is carried by Kamala Khan. Iman Vellani really sells it; she looks like she's having the best time, and she gives the film energy that it would otherwise be lacking. I suspect it helped that I really enjoyed the Ms. Marvel series, for exactly the same reason.

I do wish they'd just get on with the series "hinted" at during the mid-credits scene though. They've been teasing it for years now, and a particular actor isn't getting any younger.

[Wrathbone]

I think on a better day I might have been more receptive to parts of it and maybe given it a 5/10, but its high positive tone wasn't enough for me to overlook its more glaring flaws. In retrospect, it was Rambeau that irked me most:

Spoiler

First, the MCU doesn't seem to have any real clue what her powers actually are, beyond whatever the scene requires her to do. Kamala's falling to her death? Maybe Rambeau can fly? Oh snap, she can! A hole has been ripped in the fabric of spacetime? Not a problem - just deploy Rambeau's apparent universe-repairing energy beams! She's probably got Batman's can of shark repellent spray hidden somewhere.

Second, her character's beef with Captain Marvel is hideous. I can understand her missing Danvers or even making a friendly remark that she said she'd be back soon. That's a reasonable, human response. And she's BFFs with Nick Fury, so she's clearly aware that Danvers was away saving the thousands of other inhabited planets that aren't Earth (which may well have indirectly saved Earth from other threats) for ~30 years. But despite that, she emotionally blackmails Danvers into feeling bad about it. What a fucking cow! She's your supposedly favourite aunt, probably suffering from untold traumas from endless battles across space, give her some bloody slack!

Rambeau can go to hell in a handbasket.

[Animalmother]

Morbius
I watched this for the only reason you ever would, morbid curiosity. It was utterly panned on release and then again after it got re-released (for some reason). Yeah it's shit but not as shit as I was expecting, it's just very fucking bland.
I'd never heard of the character prior to the film and I doubt we'll hear much about him again. Jared Leto is the doctor affected by a rare blood disease so decides to find a cure in vampire bats. He extracts some bat goo, injects himself and is almost instantly a blood crazed super human. No attempt at a gradual transformation like in The Fly, it's suddenly vampire. At this point it should be fun but it's down hill from here and it just drops into mediocre action that feels like it was written by an algorithm. Didn't even have the grace to be gory, PG13 pish.

Apparently Leto insisted on staying in character between shots and would use his crutches to slowly make his way to the toilet, a 45 minute round trip. Fucking bellend.

[Sly Boots]

Morbius
I watched this for the only reason you ever would, morbid curiosity. It was utterly panned on release and then again after it got re-released (for some reason). Yeah it's shit but not as shit as I was expecting, it's just very fucking bland.
I'd never heard of the character prior to the film and I doubt we'll hear much about him again. Jared Leto is the doctor affected by a rare blood disease so decides to find a cure in vampire bats. He extracts some bat goo, injects himself and is almost instantly a blood crazed super human. No attempt at a gradual transformation like in The Fly, it's suddenly vampire. At this point it should be fun but it's down hill from here and it just drops into mediocre action that feels like it was written by an algorithm. Didn't even have the grace to be gory, PG13 pish.

Apparently Leto insisted on staying in character between shots and would use his crutches to slowly make his way to the toilet, a 45 minute round trip. Fucking bellend.

Leto is an actor I've never warmed to, and not entirely sure why

[Animalmother]

Probably because he's a fucking bellend.

[Sly Boots]

Probably because he's a fucking bellend.

[Mantis]

Just got back from seeing Dune in IMAX. Holy crap what an experience. Such a spectacle from start to finish. Absolutely incredible.

[Animalmother]

Just got back from seeing Dune in IMAX. Holy crap what an experience. Such a spectacle from start to finish. Absolutely incredible.

The sound was impressive...

[Raid]

Have they fixed the sound issue that apparently really spoiled the first for a lot of people? I think it was something to do with the dialogue mixing.

[Mantis]

I didn't have any issues understanding any of the dialogue.

[Hatredsheart]

I didn't have any issues understanding any of the dialogue.

Same, and I have a hearing aid (too many metal concerts and old age )