The Room 101 thread - for things you hate or just having a bloody good moan

[Wrathbone]

In the latest episode of life imitating Dilbert, we now have yet another weekly meeting. We have a daily meeting where each member of the team quickly mentions what they're working on, which is also a sensible time to raise any questions or concerns, etc. One person did raise concerns about something they were working on for several days - I remember them doing so - but now because our intrepid manager failed to notice this and has seen how long QA has taken to test it, he's decided we require... <drumroll>...

...a weekly clarification meeting! A whole hour where we ask for clarification on things we're already supposed to be clarifying on a daily basis.

I have decided to take this in good spirits, quite literally, by referring to it as the Cocktail Meeting and preparing accordingly.

[Raid]

I think my team would riot if we were told we suddenly had one fewer hour where we could actually be productive, there just isn't enough time in the week as it is. Basically anything that doesn't have a hard deadline is getting pushed, and there are things I've had on my to-do list for months because I simply can't find time to do them.

I can't think of anything more infuriating than having a pointless meeting when you know you could be getting stuff done with that time instead.

[Wrathbone]

I'm half expecting that we'll have a meeting to clarify the purpose of the clarification meeting. I must spend up to a full day each week in meetings which serve no purpose for and require no contribution from 80% of the attendees. And the sad thing is that I'm typically the only person who questions out loud why we have these meetings, which has resulted in me having a reputation for being resistant to change. Most of the time now I just shut up and play on my phone instead.

[Stormbringer]

[Can't think of one]

I fancied a Chinese from my local takeaway, I haven't a Chinese takeaway for a couple of years....Browse the menu online, They are charging nearly £10 per dish! Fuck that...

[Animalmother]

I lost my phone last night It's only when the fucking thing is gone you realize how much you relied on it. The only phone number I've memorized is my own which is currently fuck all use to me

[Alan]

I’m in b&m and notice they have toilet seats. I need a toilet seat, as long as it’s not a thin plastic thing there can’t be much difference between cheap and more pricey toilet seats right? I bring it home, fit it, it’s comfy enough, bargain.

Anyway a few months later and the white of the seat has become discolored and now I have a white toilet seat with a big blue arse shaped imprint on it.

[Animalmother]

Sell it on eBay, some weird fucker out there would be so into that.

[eny]

I’m in b&m and notice they have toilet seats. I need a toilet seat, as long as it’s not a thin plastic thing there can’t be much difference between cheap and more pricey toilet seats right? I bring it home, fit it, it’s comfy enough, bargain.

Anyway a few months later and the white of the seat has become discolored and now I have a white toilet seat with a big blue arse shaped imprint on it.

I bought one last year that was supposedly great, stay tight fittings etc, but a similar issue: discolouration, namely, if you leave bleach on it too long it strips the paint or turns the white into what looks like piss stains. Diabolically incompetent paint finish.

[Wrathbone]

Microsoft Teams and the apparent lack of predictability of status changes.

I've knackered my back but am trying to power through work until the weekend by taking frequent breaks to rest or do exercises. Teams is meant to allow for 10 minutes of inactivity before the status automatically changes from the green Available status to the yellow Away status, and sometimes this works. Other times, after a quick 5 minutes of laying flat, it's gone to Away. One time I got distracted at the end of a break by a phone call and found that after about 15 minutes it was still green. Its behaviour is weirdly unpredictable.

I don't honestly think anyone is actually tracking it and I have a valid reason if anyone questioned it, but it's not a great look when the rest of the team can see you disappearing once or twice an hour. Is it intentionally unpredictable to try and thwart people just skiving off work? I'm tempted to try the old trick of opening notepad and placing a heavy book on the spacebar.

[Animalmother]

There were stories of companies installing software on peoples laptops working from home that literally counted every second there wasn't a keystroke or mouse movement and not paying for that time.

[Wrathbone]

Thankfully we're not that bad (yet). For all my complaints about the company I work for, they do at least treat us like adults in terms of managing our own time.

[Alan]

When they do there’s a cottage industry of both usb mouse fakers and mechanical mouse movers to keep your apm up.

[Wrathbone]

Did not have a restful night. Shortly after going to sleep, I was woken by a distressingly loud groaning noise like structural movement, followed by an even louder bang. I couldn't place where it was coming from, so ignored it and went back to sleep. About 20 minutes later it happened again. I got up and looked out the window but couldn't see anything likely so went back to bed. It happened sporadically a few more times, loud enough to prevent me sleeping, so eventually I got up at about 1.30am to figure out what was going on.

I'd noted that it seemed to be happening when the wind picked up, so I started by checking the back garden fences and the drainpipe. No issues, although at this point someone walked down the street next to the garden, which is only separated by a gapped fence, so they must have seen the dishevelled, pyjamaed moron stood in the centre of his garden in the dead of night staring in confusion at his house.

Next I checked the loft, fearing some roof damage, which involved me trying to clamber upstairs with a stepladder without waking the neighbours (I suspect I failed). No issues with the roof. I could still occasionally hear the groaning and slamming nearby, so I went out front and checked that the tree branches weren't hitting the roof, then checked the side of the house. Nothing. I was at a loss.

Then as I headed back inside, I saw (and heard) the culprit. Somehow the door on the electricity meter box attached to the outside of the house had come loose and was swinging in the wind. How something that small can make such a racket is beyond me - suffice it to say that I secured it back in place then took some Duck tape to it for good measure.

On the plus side, I've performed a full structural house inspection in the middle of the night, I guess.

[Sly Boots]