The Gamers Arms

With great effort, the Bean Bunch — that is to say, Stacob 'Cadaver Kid' Pains, Cornelius St. John Cumflutter III, and Bluth 'Scrancher' Femurs — remove the stored hot air balloon from the mayor of Palace's servants' lodge (which turned out to be long disused for its intended purpose and served more as a glorified storage shed for the mayor) and inflate the canopy.

Once the balloon is ready, towering high above the mayor's house, the gang climb inside the wicker basket, along with Jinx the dog, Rufus the pig and a pile of equipment belonging to the fourth member of their gang, 'Doc' Artham 'Crusty Scrotum' Scotum...who has now taken the form of a huge canine. With a bit of work, they even managed to get their bicycles tied up to the sides of the basket. With these in place, and with the ballast sandbags hanging overboard and the mooring ropes cut, the balloon soon begins to soar above the flaming ruins of the fledgling city-state that was once Palace. Down below, Incorporation troops — under the command of Marshall Knapp's right-hand man, Ingo "No Mercy" Makarty — point and shout and fire pot-shots at the balloon, but their aim is poor and soon the Bean Bunch are carried off into the skies over the Western Dust Barrens, leaving Palace to its fiery fate.

Safely ensconced in their flying basket, the posse review where they should head next...

Looking through his list of wanted outlaws, Cadaver Kid notes that there's a certain outlaw, wanted dead for $250 — alive for $500 — who goes by the name of Bosmun “Dusty Red” Teemonsen, leader of the Murderkill Gang, known for their skill at swordsmanship. Their hideout's to the north of the Dust Barrens, in an abandoned oil derrick known as the Redspit Pit. Perhaps they should go there and collect the bounty?

Cumflutter reminds Cadaver Kid about the rancher they met at the Purple Belt Saloon, Fenapple. He'd spoken of a rival rancher, Clammon, whose prize herd is worth $1000 if successfully rustled and herded north through Bonesome Gulch to the city of Sickwater, home of the Outlaw Union — way up north beyond the Dust Barrens — in the place called the Big Nothing. $1000 is nothing to sniff at, and maybe the gang could start a new life in Sickwater Oasis, beyond the reach of the Incorporation?

Scrancher suggests they head south, putting down at Groutbight Docks, where they could take a boat eastward along the coast, perhaps looking for work in Stubbshead County, or cross the Soundless Deep to Dreckgullard's Desolation. The Incorporation have abandoned that frozen wasteland, deeming it too inhospitable to extract wealth from, but the Allied Governess manages the newly-reopened silver mines from her home in the city of Dalliance. Maybe there's a fortune to be made yet in the icy tundra?

Doc just woofs.

Jinx whines and Rufus snorts.

The implication that Doc turned himself into a dog for the next five hours for literally no reason is hilarious.

I thought you had a plan!

CK has no strong feelings, but is wary of tundra, mostly because he thinks tundra is a kind of chilled dessert with almonds, and he hates almonds.

Wrathbone wrote: ↑

Fri Jun 20, 2025 7:09 am

I thought you had a plan!

CK has no strong feelings, but is wary of tundra, mostly because he thinks tundra is a kind of chilled dessert with almonds, and he hates almonds.

I (turns out mistakenly) thought by taking the balloon we'd be abandoning the bikes and also the stuff I'd stashed on mine, it felt like dog-form might be a handy way to evade any patrolling soldiers, bears etc.

I like to think dog-Doc sat confusedly in the dirt, head tilted to one side, as he watched the rest of the party slowly walk up, grab their bikes and attach them to the basket without any kind of incident occurring. Hopefully they at least had the good grace to look slightly embarrassed about it

I'm not convinced CK would have known about the dog spell (or understood it), so from his perspective his good friend Doc tragically never made it to the balloon but we've gained a friendly dog.

Wrathbone wrote: ↑

Fri Jun 20, 2025 7:19 am

I'm not convinced CK would have known about the dog spell (or understood it), so from his perspective his good friend Doc tragically never made it to the balloon but we've gained a friendly dog.

After the hard work of earning of those bicycles (by murdering the shopkeeper and just taking them for free), it seemed a crying shame to just leave them to the flames...

...plus, it's extra ballast that can be dropped should the balloon need to gain height.

The work on assembling the balloon had an awkward pause as the members of the bunch still on 2 legs, watched those on 4 legs stand in a circle sniffing each others butts for an uncomfortable few minutes.

I'm good with going to Groutbight Docks and have a sea adventure.

Are there any other opinions on the balloon's destination? Doc, you're allowed one too, even though you're a dog.

Doc mimes being a salty sea dog as best he can in current circumstances.

Cadaver Kid and Scrancher, do you agree to fly the balloon to Groutbight Docks, with a mind to taking a ship to parts elsewhere?

It was Scrancher's idea so why not.

CK grumbles about tundra being tasteless with an unpleasant consistency, but agrees on the basis that it’s a long way from Palace.

Keep in mind, you don't have to take a ship across the Deep to Dreckgullard's Desolation; you could instead take one down the Dust Barrens' southern coast, toward Carcass Country, then Stubbshead County beyond that. But you can decide that when you get to Groutbight.

It seems the gang is agreed to fly the balloon south toward Groutbight Docks.